收藏者

有时候
我问你的一句话
并不是想要一个答案
而是你的表情
一种很想将它收藏的表情

有时候
我见你的那一刻
并不是想要永远记着
而是忘掉你的难舍
一种也很想藏起来的难舍

就这样
每一次将你的笑颜收藏
然后每一次暗自神伤
凝望着你的模样
我明了什么是唯一不能隐藏

就这样
每一次将记忆收藏
然后每一次独自回想
计算着与你的时光
我再也不懂什么是可以衡量

在我心里
把你收藏

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Life is beautiful

Almost fell asleep at mamak... cold wind woke me up, and whispered at my ears. She says,

"Life is beautiful because it's tough sometimes. Life is even more wonderful when u are enjoying every bit of it after the years of toughness."

Nah, just being corny.


The show is getting near, Julan is coming home soon, all stuff gotta be ready by hook or by crook... Very stressful, but I savour the process. The stress makes me feel that I am alive again, maybe for the first time since I got home.
The process is never easy... setting up the direction and finding the mutual thoughts, understanding the strength of each person in this mamak gang, writer block (again) and the "Oh F*ck I'm Screwed!" realization, some kinda lost and found where we let go Mr. "Timberlake" and got back our Mr Tay, spending long hours with the ethnic guys and experimenting, every bit of revealing the syncreatic voices in this society or simply the tone I'm trying to define mamak, cruelly deleted those unwanted stuff (and regretted most of the time, duh!)... never been easy dude. The way of living I am having now is definitely making my life short and moreover I don't get a cent out of it... But ya, I'm really savouring every moment to get there.

I'm recalling those days I spent long hours with homeless around westwood and santa monica, trying to find new ideas out of their life, meanwhile, digging some inner voices of myself... those days are tough, but invaluable. The moment my tears almost dropped when one of them came to the screening of a film I scored, priceless.

Why do I want my difficult life now? maybe for the sake of determining? maybe to prove something? That I'm not sure.
For the minute of having the pricelessness again, yes I wanna feel that again, in my own country.

BTW, saw this name somewhere online...
Du, Julan (杜巨瀾). Hey he's an assistant professor! Don't play play. LOL.

Finally...

My name on IMDB... although it's just a small credit.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1236436/fullcredits