No Merdeka :(

MERDEKA!!!!!!!!!!!
But I don't feel it

Everything Cram NOW!!!!! So, I don't care about the merdeka feel :D
Hey, Miss home :(

REALIZATION !!

Just like the last few times I wrote here after reading Martha's BIG TIME blog, here comes the REALIZATION !!

The Circle of Composing Gig
Hyper-Inspired Beginning, then the clearly stated period of 9 stages
Red underlined is the stage I am in now.

1. Always an Excessively Perfect LONG Draft

2. So-called "Writer Block" Realization

3. Proscrastinate (Often a House Cleaning Season)

4. Hyper-Motivated "The Deadline Factor" Realization

5. Draft-to-Craft Aggressiveness

6. The "Oh F*ck I'm Screwed!" Realization

7. Everything Cram

8. 24hrs Deadline (AFTER) Cram

9. After War Knock-out Celebration

Repeat steps 1-9 one to three times a month and go throughly insane in the process

PS: The last stage can be just knockout, no celebration. But usually, will pass out finally... then the next day "How did I finish that crap in 24 hours" Conclusion. Then, "Ha Ha Ha" mood for quite some time. Sometimes the mood overlaps with a new circle.

DUH !

Who is Martha?

Martha was my UPM lectrer, composition supervisor. She is the most influenced "aunty" in my life. As far she still is.

A typical sagittarius like me, but upgraded generation, like the Sonny, a Nestor Class-5 robot in Will Smith's I, Robot. I'm just a house cleaning machine laaa.
Chinese saying - Worm in my stomach. She knows what I think, both good and BAD stuff, and always throw a word that make me stoned... this kinda face this kinda face
-_-|||

My work is always kindergarten painting infront of her. Without her, I think I wouldn't be chasing my dream in here.

One thing about her, she WAS a perfect beauty in early this century. That kinda girl-next-door look is always pretty. HAHAHA
You guys don't believe me?? Give me some time, I'll find out the photo I took with her in 1998 and post it here. Maybe it's in Kajang.

Hope to see her in music field again, when the right time comes, as a composer, a musician or an educator. She is just too good to not be a big name in this industry.

What I thought about anger

Something I tried to control lately (coz I don't know who I should be angry with), Something I learned after having drinking chat yesterday with my best japanese friend, something that I'm not really good in - anger management.

Extreme anger will trigger a higher blood pressure surge. Expressing in the right way, however, can be cathartic.

Expressing anger under a right condition, or the word "venting" preferably used, is good to avoid getting into psychological trouble, depression, specifically. Most of the people who are having depression are from a disciplined family or a robotic company. They are often educated or controlled to keep feelings inside instead of expressing them, especially anger. As a result, they will find difficulties in expressing themselves. Their lack of confidence could be obvious when they get nervous and pressured.

In Asia countries, children are educated that venting can't solve problems. When the children reach maturity, they are more likely to feel lack of confidence. They are not confident when speaking if their expressions are over controlled. Some of the children might experience slow maturation compare to others who brought up in an openly expressive family.
Cultural factors can be a main factor in structuring a society's behavior of managing anger. Japanese women who were often not allowed to vent years ago, have a higher possibility of committing suicide. One of the consequences of this culture also compels active prostitution in Japan in the recent decades due to increasing cases of missing teenaged daughters. This phenomenon is no longer a myth since more young girls choose not to stay at home because of parental control on their behavior.

I agree that humans are more healthy venting reasonably than keeping it inside. Therefore, it is important to express yourself optimistically. It is also necessary to find the right solution for the problems after venting. Venting without solution is a misusage of emotion, and it is opposed to your reason for venting.

Haha, end up a bit crappy. After reading Martha's blog, usually, ended up writing nonsense here.
I know martha will give me COLD comment again! That kind of big slap IN-YOUR-FACE comment!!

MESSED UP !

DAMN!!!! I REALIZE I MESSED UP MY BLOG TEMPLATE!!!!!
Will fix it when I am free. :(